Fear and I, Part I

No I am not going to part some wisdom here, I am going to talk about the different types of fear I feel and how I control them.

Almost everyone who has known me at some point of my existence knows about my fear of snakes. Seriously I can’t even look at a picture of a snake. While watching the Harry Potter movies I had the vlc player screen minimized every time I knew a snake part was going to come (Lucky for me I read the book first and knew the scenes).  At school I wouldn’t open the section with the snake pictures on my biology books. Once as a prank when a friend of mine sent my best-friend a cake shaped like a snake I totally freaked out and started yelling and cry. I am so scared of snakes that I check under tables, the washing room, under my bed, inside blankets…. The list goes on and on. Right now I’m checking for snakes under my legs!

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As an effort to not fear snakes anymore I began reading articles on how not to fear. I tried staring at pictures of snakes and watching animal history. No it didn’t work, maybe I didn’t try hard enough. My brother got a huge, long rubber snake and would throw it on me at random and my heart would stop beating every time, so no, it didn’t work too. So I abandoned the idea of trying to get over the fear and started trying to figure out why I have this fear.

Although my mother fears snakes she doesn’t fear them as much as I do. The lady even killed one. But I found out that my grandmother and my aunt (my mother’s older sister) fear snakes too. They hate it when someone mentions the forbidden word. So maybe this phobia is a genetic pass-down.

Although I consider myself a fun loving person and someone who would fearlessly like to try everything I’m a pessimist too. Like my favourite fictional character Sherlock Holmes said, I tend to imagine the worst in everything. For instance if I’m walking on a bridge, I would imagine the bridge cracking beneath my feet and me plunging down to a horrible death. That doesn’t mean that I don’t walk on bridges. While I tell my friends that I love to go bungee jumping or paragliding, I’m sure that I’m going to freak out at the last moment, imagining myself with a broken neck or the harness just snapping loose. But these fears don’t hinder my ability to function with my day to day life.

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Do you watch horror movies? I don’t! Well, because I do enjoy it while I’m watching and maybe even make fun of the movie, but those lonely times when there is no one at home and I’m just sitting there, the whirring of the fan would sound like someone crying or the creak of the door…. So yeah I don’t watch scary movies these days.

Then there are the normal fears that anybody would have. About how I might not achieve my dreams and goals or I might lose the people that I love and care about.

Hmm… what else, right now I can’t think of any, but if I do remember maybe I would put up a part 2 for this post and I would love to hear what your fears are and how you control them.

Cheers!

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